Tag Archives: seperation
TAKING THE STING OUT OF THE DIVORCE PROCESS
By: Sandra A. Harrison, Attorney at Law, Macomb County, Michigan. Being involved in a divorce action is generally one of the most difficult times in the parties’ lives, and can be particularly hard on the children. Making the decision to break up a family should never be taken lightly, even by the attorneys involved in the case. Parents must take care to minimize negative effects on the children; and although we are outsiders looking in, attorneys must respect the emotional turmoil involved in such matters and tread lightly. As hard as divorce is on the parents, it can be devastating for their children. It is a time of confusion and uncertainty; and unfortunately, children often blame themselves for what is happening around them. Parents who speak disparagingly about the other parent in the presence of the children can cause untold damage to a child. However, there are many things parents can do to insulate the children from the process as much as possible. Family counseling where both parents participate can show children that parents can still work together, although they are ending a marriage; and it can give the child an outlet for his or her emotions and have questions answered in a nonthreatening environment. Also, both parents spending quality time with the children during the process is extremely important. A divorce case should not get in the way of a child’s need to be loved and cared for by both parents. There is a movement in the family law community for attorneys to assist parents in taking the sting out of the process as much as possible to avoid further conflict between the parties. This can be accomplished simply by not inflaming the parties during the divorce case, beginning with how the defendant in the action is served the initial pleadings. Serving a complaint for divorce on a party in the presence of minor children or at his or her work place can cause unnecessary animosity between the parties, making an amicable settlement more difficult. Further the attorneys should take care when drafting pleadings to avoid unnecessarily harsh phrasing in documents that are part of the public record. Minor children will not be minors forever. There will come a time when they will be old enough to access their parents’ divorce file, and hopefully will view only a civil action that occurred between their parents, rather than an ugly battle filled with accusations and denunciations that could be hurtful for them to see. Of course, there are situations when not all hurtful words can be avoided, however, attorneys must make these part of the public record only in situations where it is unavoidable. As a party to a divorce action, you make the ultimate decision as to how your case should be handled. Communicate with your attorney about the tone you want to set for your case. He or she will gladly advise you about how you can make the divorce process less controversial, which will hopefully lead to an amicable settlement of all issues, and make the entire process less difficult on the children. Call the Law Office of Simasko, Simasko & Simasko, located in the City of Mount Clemens, Macomb County, Michigan, for your free consultation with a family law attorney regarding your divorce and separate maintenance issues.
